A Shipwrecked Heart

Adrift on the water away from any land, this shipwrecked heart is found floating, searching for something to grab hold of in order to keep from sinking down into the darkness which is calling.

Surrounded by feelings of isolation, she sees no possible rescue from the pain that rejection has brought in, leaving her drowning in the sea of abandonment, catching her completely off guard, for separation was not part of the future she had in mind. Thinking her relationship secure, the idea of its ending never entered her thoughts, for she believed there to be unity, a sameness between them, both heading in a similar direction. But now that is gone and she is left with a different fate than she had envisioned – one which does not comprise the number two, for it had always included another, involving the one to whom she had given her heart. 

Believing it just a fluke, a momentary indiscretion, she convinced herself he would return. Yet, as time ticked forward (as it always does), she began to realize he had moved on and removed his affections, no longer pointing them in her direction. Instead, the sting of dismissal has replaced the sentiments of love, leaving her pining over the loss; for it has been made plain to her that reconciliation is out of the question, leaving her with only vacant dreams placed in the backdrop of “what could have been”, if he had only stayed true. Once the recognition of “over” had set in, and she realized their parting was final, and that this time around would not be filled with “I’m sorry”, the last bit of hope she carried was taken, dismantling the remaining pieces of the life they had built together.

Wandering has now become her motion, for she cannot find the point to her existence; its context holding no understanding. Where is she to focus? What plan could she possibly come up with, on her own, that could compare with the one he had promised? The dilemma of what to do next stands before her, for where can she find the guarantee of happiness again? Like a flood, estrangement came in washing over all her tomorrows, leaving her floating in the wreckage of yesterday’s failure without seeing any possible way to move forward, annulling every feeling of control.  

As if her life were held in a strong current, its’ pull took her away from where she wanted to be, drawing her further into the empty space of loneliness and desperation. Though she reminds herself that she is better off without him, she cannot seem to muster the strength to stand on her own two feet, so she allows the flow of this unfriendly channel to carry her heart further away, setting hopelessness as her sole focus (due to unmet expectations). What she thought her life would contain has moved far beyond her reach, subjugating her future to a new narrative, one she finds somewhat distasteful; for no consideration had been given to her feelings when the decision was made to alter course, setting her life on the path of unwanted change, leaving her the one standing empty-handed.

When a heart is left in this forlorn state, ill from the feelings of abandonment, and found in the nighttime of sadness, what remedy is there to release them from this form of ailment? For once life is interrupted by this type of devastation, the challenge to regain a sense of “normal” must come from outside of themselves. Though some would like to believe “moving on” to be the solution, until those deeper places where the pain is held have found healing, every wound will be carried into their future; festering into something ugly, showing up in bitterness and displayed through distrust masquerading as politeness, until insult and injury revisit, causing an unflattering eruption of angry words and unkindness (for all are presumed a potential threat so must be kept at a distance).

Now, a wall of isolation meant for protection keeps her heart. Yet this strong barrier must be let down in order to find true consolation. Until even a small opening is made in this fortified blockade, My love cannot reach in and bring relief. For I am longing to be your companion, the One who remains deeply invested, for quality time is a specialty of mine, something I enjoy most when it comes to My children. You will find My back is never turned facing away, for I will always be right beside you. Even when you experience feelings of mistrust aimed in My direction, the affections I carry for you stay the same. Giving is the language I speak, so My words will always be filled with affirmation held in the goal of rebuilding, for I never use harsh language meant for cutting. This is something I never do. When My gaze falls upon you, what I see is one who is most loved. 

Though your heart knows what it means to be scorned, and you have felt contempt for another, I desire to remove each stone of pain from its placement, and gently take down every hinderance set between us. But, since I hold the qualities of a gentleman, I won’t act unless My invitation has been accepted, for I never force Myself onto another or presume the right of way. My intentions are always noble because of My honorable nature (though it is true I am no respecter of persons, meaning none are elevated to My level). I do not push My way in, nor do I demand an acknowledgement. Yet, I will always be waiting for you to glance My direction, hoping you will open your heart to receive Me.

The relationship I offer will always be in an unbalanced state, for the affections I carry towards you will continually outweigh any you hold for Me. This is due to My perfect love, which comes to you in its complete form, so you never have to be concerned about your standing with Me. You will always and forever be loved! My heart is never fickle towards any I call My own because it resonates with fondness from the place of absolute dedication, so cannot be jarred from this position by any form of rejection. I will continue to love regardless of reciprocation. This is where My heart can be found, held in total devotion, never lacking any degree of commitment. 

Even though you have experienced the rebuff of another and know the heartbreak of feeling unwanted, you should never fear this from Me, My heart is always for you, remaining steadfast and true, covering all of your days without even a hint of regret about our relationship. For once I am accepted, there is no chance of Me leaving, even death cannot come between us. So do not shy away from My invitation when I call upon your heart. Let down the wall you have formed to keep out disappointment, the place where you are hidden away, tucked behind the blockade of self-protection. I want to be your Savior, the One who comes to you as the rescuer, bringing deliverance from continued sadness with the reviving warmth of My affections (which have the power to chase out every shadow formed from the past), leaving you free to enjoy life again.